Full disclosure: I did some shopping yesterday. It was late last night, on my phone. All baby clothes. So it wasn’t exactly a frivolous purchase. Vivi needed new pyjamas, so that’s a no brainer. Ellie’s into dinosaurs at the moment, and I’ve been wanting to get her a dinosaur-print dress for ages. The clothes were fairly inexpensive. So why do I feel so guilty?
It is absolutely BONKERS, the amount of guilt a person heaps onto oneself, often for no good reason at all. For example, how often have you heard someone call a certain food “sinful” or “a guilty pleasure”? Luckily, I was made aware of the toxicity of these terms during my teen years, so I have a relatively healthy relationship with food, and with my body. This is especially important since I’m raising daughters. The way we talk about food and our bodies has an impact on our children. This is a topic that is close to my heart, and I’ll explore further in another post.
So while I don’t feel guilty about what I eat, it creeps up on me in other areas of my life. A common one is motherhood, and the never-ending “am I doing enough”. Acquiring more possessions and maintaining a household is somewhat tied in to that. If there’s lots of clutter, my children are growing up in a messy home, and I’m stressed out all the time, then that’s not good, isn’t it?
So a few things need to change. Yes, I need to relax a little. “Don’t get so stressed out,” you tell me. Well, I already know. Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.
While I’m working on that, it wouldn’t hurt to tackle the physical stuff too. Right now there’s no need for a major overhaul, as minimalism has been practised in our home for some years, and hopefully it shows. I’ve been diligent about discarding old/damaged items. Unused stuff in good condition is given away.
It sounds cheesy, but practising gratitude really helps. I’m aware that complaining about being stuck at home, shopping when stressed out, then stressing out over having too much stuff is coming from a position of privilege. Knowing how lucky we are helps to keep things in perspective. It also bring us back to minimalism, where being content and being grateful for what you already have makes you want less.
So I’m holding on to this feeling of gratitude as we gradually ease into a “new normal”, and with it I hope to add a dash of patience and understanding. There’s no need to buy like the world is ending, and there’s no need to feel guilty when buying a little. Like most things, it’s a balance and a process.
And… exhale.
Daydreams and Day Trips 